Hold me, please
by FreakingZebra
Summary: Fìli has a nightmare, and it takes the will and kindness of his friends to make him feel better. One-shot, brotherly Fìli/Kíli. Warning: mild gore


**Hello! This is my first Hobbit fanfiction, which is a bit weird because I did plan to have a different story as my first but I thought of this idea and finished it first ^^ But that story will be posted sometime soon hopefully...it's quite long O_o**

** Anyway, I hope you had a very Merry Christmas, or a very nice Tuesday anyway if you don't celebrate it :) Hope you enjoy and please let me know what you think :D**

_ He was walking through the halls. Every single chipped stone, crack and crevice were all as he imagined it would be, everything that uncle had described so perfectly. He wasn't sneered or spat upon by the dwarves of the Blue Mountain who had somewhat grudgingly let them join, no stones or flicks of dirt where thrown in his face. A blur of busy dwarves streamed past him, as if drawn in pastel and someone had smudged over their perfect picture, slurred and drowsy smiles painted sloppily onto their faces, smiles which told he was welcome, home._

_ It seemed only that he and Kíli where the ones standing there quite aware of the once prince, now returned as king, sitting upon the proud jewel smothered throne, surveying over the great stone halls of Erebor with pride in his heart and the ever watching Arkenstone held in stone above the kings head. As Fìli watched his uncle, Gandalf and Bilbo talk quietly with smiles on their faces, he couldn't help but feel immensely joyous to be alive and well to see this day through. The day that his kin would no longer have to hide in the shadows or wander from each land to the next, the day that Erebor was claimed back - like his uncle had promised to them every time he'd visited - back to its rightful owner, their rightful kingdom._

_ He felt his own hand curl protectively around that of his younger brothers, squeezing it tightly in a brotherly gesture to check he was safe. Kíli looked up into his eyes and smiled gently, both dwarves then turning their eyes back to the wonder that was their home._

_ A scream._

_ Fìli swivelled round quickly, unsheathing his swords quickly pointing it in the direction of the sound, eyes wide with fright and the sound of his own heartbeat drumming in his ears. As he stood and watch, he felt his whole world fall apart around him – gold poured down from the ceilings and walls, the stone cracking and falling into dust as people around him ran back for their glittering prizes only to be engulfed in the ferocious wave. He let out an anguished scream along with his brother as Thorin – only just returned to the home he'd for so long searched for – fell into that stinking worthless metal dragging poor Mr. Bilbo and somehow Gandalf too._

_ "Fìli!" he heard his uncle yell, along with a desperate yell from the burglar and wizard too – and Fìli grabbed his brother hand in his own, biting back the bitter tears as he ran towards the large iron doors that led out into outside. Screams echoed in the halls around him, the sound of his heart beating and hitched breath catching in his throat amplified._

_ "Fìli…!" he heard his younger brother cry out, and Fìli turned round just in time to see his baby brother, whom he'd sworn he'd protect as his last words to his dying mother when he'd been only 7, trip and fall back into rising wave._

_ "Kíli!" he screamed, reaching out to grab his hand only a split second too late, watching helplessly as Kílis dying eyes looked hopelessly up at him for the last time as the light in Fìlis world was all lost. "No…no!" he screamed, a scream that tore from his throat, burned his chest and took away his breath. Other members of the Dwarf company shouted for him desperately, but Fìli could not move from the spot as his stared down at where his brother had fallen. He wanted to die, die instead of his brother, die for being a coward and weak. Yet, strange though it seemed, the gold lain around him slowly began to melt into a deep, crimson liquid…_

_ Blood. His families blood._

_ Fìli screamed._

"Fìli! Fìli wake up!" the young dwarf jumped from his sleep, a layer of sweat upon his pale skin and tears streaming down his face. His eyes were wide and bloodshot, limbs shaking fiercely, clinging unconsciously onto Kílis coat. When the dwarf somewhat came to his senses, he looked up and upon seeing his brother there in one, though rather worried, piece – he buried his head into his shoulder and sobbed loudly. Kíli wrapped his arms tightly around his older brother, rocking him gently back and forth, humming comfortingly.

"Kíli…god dammit I…you were dead-" he words caught in his throat as his let out a loud sob. "-and everyone was dead god I…I can't…I'm so worthless…" he mumbled shakily, not wanting to ever let go of his brother any time soon, breathing in his sweet scent.

Out of curiosity and worry for their friend, the rest of the company had slowly sat themselves around the young dwarf – Oin making some sort of rather atrocious tasting drink on the fire, and Bombur readying a small bowl of left over soup for the trembling dwarf. After a few moments of silent sobbing and gentle humming from Kíli, Gandalf knelt down by Fìli, placing a warm hand upon his shoulder.

"Fìli, look at me." he asked quietly, the dwarf obliging and turning away from his brothers' shoulder – though not for one moment letting go of his jacket –staring up at the wizard. His eyes widened in wonder – and much to Gandalfs surprise – flung his arms around the grey wizard and let out a relived sob.

"You're alive!" he mumbled shakily, pulling himself away from the wizards rather stiff arms, looking around at everyone sat around him. "All of you…You're alive! I can't…but…" he looked at his uncle sheepishly. Gandalf sighed worriedly, turning the young dwarf back round to face him.

"Fìli, you had a nightmare - that's all."

"But..."

"But nothing." Gandalf butted in. "You'd been feverish all day, it was hardly surprising that as soon as we reached camp for the night you fell asleep. You've been screaming everyone's names for well over and hour now Master Fìli, we weren't quite sure when you would wake up." explained the old wizard tiredly, giving the dwarf a rare warm smile. Fìli looked round at the rest of the company confusedly, tears falling slowly down his cheeks.

"You scared me brother." Kíli mumbled beside him, clasping his hands in his own, stroking them gently with his thumb. "I wanted to make sure you were ok."

"I wanted you to be ok Kíli..." he muttered quietly. "But I failed."

"You know." piped up Bofur a little suddenly. "I always find it better if you tell someone the dream." he suggested warmly. Bilbo coughed politely and nodded his head in agreement.

"Yes, it always seems then that you don't have to keep it all locked up and to yourself, sort of like 'releasing' it I suppose." perked up the small hobbit, as worried for the dwarf as everyone else was. He'd never quite thought he'd ever become so attached to the merry company of singing and reckless dwarves, but when it came down to their well being and safety he realised that he could not bear to lose them.

"No one will judge you." Thorin promised sternly to his nephew, sparks of worry flickering in his eyes. Fìli sighed, drawing in a deep breath.

"Well." he began. "We were at Erebor. Smaug was dead, and you Uncle, Master Baggins and Gandalf sir - were all talking beneath the Arkenstone. Me and Kíli were stood watching, and everyone else's was looking around too." Fìli paused shakily.

"Suddenly, gold coins began falling down from the walls, taking everyone with it. The walls were becoming dust and gold just kept coming and coming...it took Uncle, and Bilbo, And Gandalf - and everyone else. And it took...it took Kíli. I promised I would forever protect him but somehow then, I couldn't. I can't get the thought out of my head, not being able to protect him, I hate myself so much for not saving him, and the coins melted into blood. All of your blood together I was up to my knees in it and I just kept wishing I could die instead of you all I..." he hung his head silently, tears streaming down his reddened cheeks. "I'm so stupid."

The rest coming remained silent in shock more than anything. Ori looked close to tears and even Nori seemed somewhat respectful and sympathetic.

"Here lad, eat up. The food will help settle your mind, I'm afraid we ate ours whilst you were sleeping." Bombur said, holding out a bowl of soup in front of Fìli for him to take.

"Thank you Bombur, but I'm really not hungry thanks." Fìli replied with a forced smile, pushing away the bowl. Bombur stared for a moment in disbelief - not ever had he known anyone to refuse a meal from him - and silently walked back to the fire, keeping the bowl above it for when Fìli most definitely would change his mind.

"Well then, at least drink this? Oin made it, and when you go to sleep again it'll keep your mind calm and peaceful." Gandalf suggested, handing a small flask filled with a dark and vile looking syrup inside to him. Fìli stared rather reluctantly at the medicine, but shrugged nonchalantly and downed its contents. Pulling a face of disgust, he placed the empty vile back into Gandalf's hand, smiling weakly at Oin giving him thanks.

"Well now, I think we can all agree its getting rather late and we've a long day ahead tomorrow, so everyone get some rest. Bofur, you're on first watch - everyone else I expect to sleep well. Ori, you can do second watch." at Thorins words, everyone turned to each other a bid their good nights - each wishing Fìli a rather better sleep - and turning over in the blankets keeping warm by sleeping close together. Kìli smiled up at his brother, wrapping the blanket around him and himself tightly as they lay on the floor beside each other.

"Please don't leave me anytime soon Kíli." Fìli begged if his brother, who smiled gently and nodded.

"Of corse I won't. And Fìli?"

"Hmm?"

"You're really not stupid at all. In fact, your the best brother anyone could ever ask for."

** Aww, what a cute ending...*face-palm* Yeah, it started off well for me but the second half went kinda bad...sorry! So anyway, hope you enjoyed :3 **


End file.
